A Safe Place

I want to share with you a personal story, not from the podium of a health professional, nor the perspective of a victim, but as a husband who witnessed the woman I love confront the painful resurfacing of deep trauma that had shadowed her since birth.

Before we were consciously aware of the trauma, if you had asked me about our life, I would've said it was normal. My wife and I had been married nearly a decade, blessed with wonderful children. We loved our home, I had a steady job, and we were active in our church. On paper, we checked every box of the happy life we wanted for ourselves.

Yet looking back, there were subtle signs I didn't fully grasp at the time: nighttime anxiety, intense mood swings, health problems, and visceral reactions when I left her side. These were all hints of an invisible weight we'd learned to graciously work around—nothing more than accepted and forgotten quirks of our lives together.

Letting the memories begin

I still remember the day the truth came to light. It didn't begin with my wife, but with her extended family members. As they began to question and share hard and personal things, patterns emerged. It was like a puzzle coming together, revealing a horrifying picture. The culmination was confronting the perpetrator—a grandfather who had been habitually and ritually abusing the entire family since their births. His chilling emotional indifference to the profound pain he had inflicted on nearly everyone shattered my wife and her entire family.

Although my wife had no memories of the abuse at first, she was deeply affected by the revelations. This included tears, screams, and days without sleep spent trying to process the implications of what had been uncovered. I cannot properly articulate the depth of her anguish as she grappled with the reality. Above all else, however, she was committed to remembering. She decided she would remember. Despite this being only the tip of the iceberg, it was clear that her life had been irrevocably altered. There was no going back: for her, her family, and for me.

As time went on, the memories came, and my wife faced them. They came through dreams, therapy, conversations with other survivors, etc. The more I learn about trauma healing, the more I understand how unique and complex this process is for each individual.

A common thread

One common thread I recognized, however, is that survivors need each other. They need a community. Survivors need to know that they are not alone. That this is way more common than anyone is willing to admit. They need people who are willing to not only listen to horrors people have been through, but also validate that they really did happen and were objectively wrong. They also need people who are willing to incessantly fight those who attempt to belittle or gaslight victims into thinking they're mistaken or stuck. In short, they need a safe place.

And so I created this secure, custom-built, anonymous platform with one goal: help people heal from trauma.

I hope to accomplish this by focusing on three tenets:

1. Educate
2. Share
3. Report

I want to provide a place where people can educate themselves about the reality that is abuse, share their stories, and report locations or individuals to help prevent further abuse, all with the goal to facilitate healing.

This platform will continue to grow and implement new features based on what survivors of abuse feel would be most beneficial.

If this resonates with you, please register and share your story and help us create a safe place for healing.